"I got my balls back!"

-Tim Armfield ( letting Mike Rieck know he got his vasectomy reversed )

"We should pray for a woman for each of you guys... not the same one."

-Tim Armfield

"That's gross! It's human flesh!"

-Tim Armfield ( on those who eat placentas )

"No it's not. It's just a bag."

-Nathan Goff ( a recent father )

"Yes it is! It comes from a human! It's human flesh!"

-Tim Armfield ( refusing to give up )

"You ever eat a booger?"

-Nathan Goff ( ending the discussion )

"Prepare to die, fool."

-Scott Hamilton

"Oh sweet! I'm gonna die!"

-Tim Armfield

"I have peas."

-Tim Armfield

"I need a volunteer. SCOTT!"

-Tim Armfield

"At my church, they always want us to put away chairs."

-Tim Armfield

"Speak now, or forever hold your pee!"

-Tim Armfield ( while passing a rest area )