"I need you to do more things that I can take credit for."

-Steve Kollmansberger ( Manager of the year folks. )

"You know you’re in management when you have a favorite paper size."

-Steve Kollmansberger ( Who probably wouldn’t have noticed otherwise )

"I'm a little concerned that my wife just texted me 'Do we have a hacksaw?'"

-Steve Kollmansberger

"Every Chicken has a mango. Every mango has a dream. "

-Mike Sheppard

"A dream to become a chicken. "

-Steve Kollmansberger ( And the circle has become complete. )

"In that case it would be secure, because in hammer space 'You can't touch this.'"

-Steve Kollmansberger ( On the security benefits of storing objects in hammer space )

"The very first time I met my future wife I went over to her dorm room to watch a movie. When she went to the bathroom I quickly changed into her clothes so that there would be no doubt. "

-Steve Kollmansberger

"It's like alien vs predator. Whoever wins, we all lose."

-Steve Kollmansberger ( On the upcoming presidential election )

"I could save a lot of money by living really far out and teleporting to work!"

-Steve Kollmansberger ( On choosing a super power )

"The more you look at something the more it looks the same as it did before. "

-Mike Sheppard

"That is very true."

-Steve Kollmansberger ( Said sadly )

"You were just thinking of your wife, weren't you?"

-Mike Sheppard ( Question met only with incessant laughter )

"Effort! Vision! Ambition! These are not words that describe me."

-Steve Kollmansberger ( At least he's honest with himself. )

"If it was worth doing it wouldn't be hard. "

-Steve Kollmansberger ( Easy to implement == Good Idea )

"How do I know if I can trust you that you'll give me the meat later?"

-Steve Kollmansberger ( On trading meat for trench digging )

"I'm just going to trust that there is a reason that it smells bad. "

-Steve Kollmansberger ( On not using his tea cup )

"That would be cool. Instead of a wife I could have a slave girl I could control with magic powers."

-Steve Kollmansberger ( On the benefits of black magic )

"In retrospect I should not have tried that on the HR lady."

-Steve Kollmansberger ( Things not to do in the office.. )

"Life is short. There's only so much time to collect all the STD's. "

-Steve Kollmansberger ( On why the bridge office parties so hard )

"It's really tough to know who's the psycho."

-Steve Kollmansberger ( On working at the state )

"What we need is an inflatable Josh doll..."

-Steve Kollmansberger

"What are the goats doing that costs $22!?!"

-Steve Kollmansberger ( A TV content example gone very very wrong. )