2014-02-22

"How weird would it be to live right above your poop?"

-Scott Hamilton

2010-07-26

"You can smoke in Vegas?"

-Scott Hamilton ( Excitedly )

2010-05-17

"What show is that?"

-Scott Hamilton ( During a 3G streaming video demo )

"The Devil Wears Prada!!"

-Mike Sheppard

"The demo became less cool Mike. "

-Scott Hamilton

2009-07-13

"That makes Birgitta right. She's right a lot."

-Scott Hamilton ( expressing frustration )

2009-05-06

"How long do I have, to say "Good Night", before I have to re-kiss you?"

-Scott Hamilton ( after step 1 of the good night ritual )

2009-04-12

"The more I don't go to the bathroom, the more I have too."

-Scott Hamilton

2008-09-24

"Death is not funny. Near death is funny."

-Scott Hamilton

2008-09-22

"That's kissing me."

-Scott Hamilton ( informing Chad of the inadvertent result of a seemingly inocuous act )

2008-09-08

"Why do you want to run IE in FireFox. That's like trying to use a hammer for everything!"

-Phong Hong ( defending his browser dependant code )

"No. Think of it like NOT using a table saw that randomly flings blades at your neck."

-Scott Hamilton

2008-07-06

"Is your mind blown??"

-Eli Rieck

"Yeah, and I didn't even have to put my clothes back on!"

-Scott Hamilton

2008-07-05

"Not many people can do this."

-Eli Rieck

"That's why we wear underwear, Eli."

-Scott Hamilton

2008-06-14

"Do I have time to strip down to my underwear before Danica gets here?"

-Scott Hamilton

2008-06-09

"You need a car. You need a job.... You don't need another RPG."

-Scott Hamilton

2008-06-07

"It's not the form that makes you look good, it's the ass kicking."

-Scott Hamilton ( after Eli demonstrated some femmie martial arts moves )

2008-06-04

"There's nothing monsters fear more than men sitting around drinking tea."

-Scott Hamilton

2008-06-01

"What if our farts were luminescent under black light?"

-Scott Hamilton

"That...would be...awesome!"

-Mike Rieck

2008-06-01

"What if our farts were luminescent under black light?"

-Scott Hamilton

"That...would be...awesome!"

-Mike Rieck

2008-05-17

"Open up a can of Whoopass, Nathan!"

-Scott Hamilton ( nathan was the last man standing on his team against 3 agressors )

"I'm too scared!!!"

-Nathan Goff ( he then used his canopener to devastating effect )

2008-04-01

"Are you ready to lay the smackdown upon my heresy?"

-Scott Hamilton ( in anticipation of teaching Romans Ch. 1, having crammed the night before )

2008-04-01

"Are you ready to lay the smackdown upon my heresy?"

-Scott Hamilton ( in anticipation of teaching Romans Ch. 1, having crammed the night before )

2008-03-17

"Mike, I'm glad you're better looking than me and Eli."

-Scott Hamilton ( after Mike got hit on for the second time by an unlikely suitress )

"Bump."

-Eli Rieck ( who then fist bumps Scott )

2008-03-17

"Well, I can't keep myself from winning now."

-Scott Hamilton

2008-03-16

"What's the Hebrew word for 'streaking'?"

-Scott Hamilton

"Isaiah!"

-Missy Goff ( after a discussion outlining Isaiah's call to nudity )

2008-03-07

"Hey! Where's my furniture guy?"

-Scott Hamilton ( coordinating a vacuuming strategy )

"Nursing my nipple!"

-Mike Rieck ( doing the opposite of what anyone else can do )

2008-02-26

"I think this thing could beat me at chess."

-Scott Hamilton ( working on one of those metal puzzle things at dentist offices )

2008-02-18

"Actually, I suck at figuring out chords. Let me demonstrate."

-Scott Hamilton

2008-01-21

"Sometimes it's good to be lonely."

-Mike Rieck ( with a hint of melancholy )

"Like when you poop your pants."

-Scott Hamilton ( bringing perspective )

2008-01-09

"Next time we do pee stories, you go last."

-Scott Hamilton ( to Eli )

2007-11-03

"Man, that was crazy! I had to get my calculator out."

-Scott Hamilton

2007-10-16

"My sneakers scream like a banshee."

-Scott Hamilton

2007-09-23

"Why would God create an ass-gland like that?"

-Scott Hamilton

2007-08-20

"If the lizard looks like he's doing something fun, I'll take it."

-Scott Hamilton ( on Sobe )

2007-08-17

"Oh yeah? Well Jesus died for my sins... even the one I'm about to do to your face."

-Scott Hamilton

2007-08-09

"If you're going to be an idiot, do it correctly."

-Scott Hamilton ( to Bryan )

2007-07-25

"If a bear kisses me, I'm gonna be pissed."

-Scott Hamilton

2007-07-25

"Could you just slap me constantly?"

-Scott Hamilton ( during a buggy part of the hike )

2007-07-24

"The thing about backwards underwear is it rides a little differently."

-Scott Hamilton ( during the hike )

"I'd say I'd like to see, but I don't think I do."

-Jeannie McDougall

2007-07-24

"Things are getting better. If only my underwear wasn't on backwards."

-Scott Hamilton

2007-07-24

"I've got a special treat for everyone hiking behind me!"

-Scott Hamilton ( while applying deodorant )

2007-07-24

"Mmmm. Bubble gum burps."

-Scott Hamilton ( while hiking )

"..and caviar dreams."

-Eli Rieck

2007-07-24

"It may wick away water, but not the stink."

-Scott Hamilton ( on polyester during the hike )

2007-07-21

"Don't touch it! That's a Peruvian Death Slug!"

-Scott Hamilton ( on the hike )

2007-07-21

"I never thought I'd grow up to be a tent pole."

-Scott Hamilton ( on the hike )

2007-07-04

"I'm seeing some green, but I think it's my retina burning."

-Scott Hamilton ( watching Eli's homemade smoke bombs )

2007-07-04

"I left my sunglasses in your freezer."

-Scott Hamilton

2007-06-30

"This sock is amazing. I haven't had a sock this soft in a while."

-Chad Rieck

"I'm gonna go away now."

-Scott Hamilton

2007-06-10

"Is that cement block floating?"

-Scott Hamilton

2007-06-10

"Let me find my... something. Yeah I got it."

-Scott Hamilton ( clenching his right buttock )

"Yep, your butt's still there."

-Eli Rieck ( turned out it was his wallet )

2007-06-10

"Screw real life! I want a wii job!"

-Scott Hamilton

2007-06-08

"It's probably not illegal."

-Eli Rieck

"Alright.... Let's leave."

-Scott Hamilton

2007-06-05

"I'm a wolf in sheep's clothing. Who am I kidding? I'm a wolf in wolf's clothing."

-Scott Hamilton

2007-06-05

"I like the fact that he has calculus, higher math, electricity and magnetism [on his resume.] We need more people like that."

-Scott Hamilton ( discussing a potential intern )

"I just think we need more people with magnetism."

-Leigh Woody ( with glee )

2007-06-02

"I've got a nice, thin layer of Man on me. I think I'll leave it on there."

-Scott Hamilton ( after a sunny, hot bike ride )

2007-05-31

"Jeez, once you start launching nukes, everyone does it!"

-Scott Hamilton ( out of the blue )

2007-05-22

"The HAZMAT speedo."

-Scott Hamilton ( protects what it needs to )

2007-04-22

"The true definition of a weed is something that you don't want."

-Scott Hamilton ( on gardening )

"Or something you smoke."

-Evangeline Rand ( not a gardener )

2007-04-11

"I think I'm going to test having a relationship in general."

-Scott Hamilton ( while speaking to a customer )

2007-04-06

"Look at the little fairy princesses! Too bad they don't come in all pink."

-Scott Hamilton

2007-03-22

"My password is bigger than your password."

-Scott Hamilton

"Uh, you can go ahead and keep that satisfaction, Scott."

-Bryan Wilhelm

2007-03-21

"Maybe I need to be more careful."

-Eli Rieck

"That's what I'm saying. You have to be wary of dart pygmies."

-Scott Hamilton ( the final summation to a well made point )

2007-03-14

"Where's your..."

-Eli Rieck

"My wonder bra? I mean, wonder bar."

-Scott Hamilton

"Big difference Scott."

-Danica Boe

2007-02-28

"I'm all about fake cheese."

-Crystal Warren

"Really."

-Scott Hamilton

"Not really. I just felt like saying that."

-Crystal Warren ( discussing Keebler products )

2007-02-12

"There's nothing worse than a nervous toilet salesman."

-Scott Hamilton

2007-02-02

"Let's do anonymous brown paper bag transfers around town."

-Scott Hamilton

2007-01-31

"I almost lost my tea."

-Danica Boe ( when she laughed with tea in her mouth )

"You have false teeth?"

-Scott Hamilton

2007-01-24

"Uhh... Forte just attacked that mouse like Screwey."

-Scott Hamilton

"Does that concern you?"

-Eli Rieck

"Yeah. It might be a disease."

-Scott Hamilton

2007-01-21

"I don't mind [baby] juju as long as I don't have to touch it."

-Scott Hamilton

2007-01-09

"Darn onions. Onions and Kryptonite!"

-Scott Hamilton ( regarding the Tag Team effect chopping onions forced on Scott and Eli )

2007-01-08

"Are the animals lost?"

-Scott Hamilton

"Well, they're not saved. There was no Jesus donkey."

-Eli Rieck

2006-11-04

"[Censored Quote]"

-Mike Sheppard

"[Censored Quote]"

-Scott Hamilton

"Christians aren't supposed to say 'ass.'"

-Eli Rieck

2006-10-30

"I only chose you because your head was gone."

-Scott Hamilton

2006-10-02

"My theory is that because it doesn't have a wang it might be a girl."

-Scott Hamilton

2006-06-27

"World to Nathan!"

-Scott Hamilton

"...what's that?"

-Nathan Goff ( distracted by something shiny )

2006-05-12

"Eli, guys can't have babies. We can only have aliens."

-Scott Hamilton

2006-03-31

"OOH! There's a banana in my freezer!"

-Mike Rieck

"Well, the depression's over."

-Scott Hamilton

2006-03-08

"How many layers can you put on a loaded question?"

-Scott Hamilton

"I'll have to ask my ex."

-Eli Rieck

2006-02-26

"21 and over!"

-Scott Hamilton ( denying root beer to TJ and Caitlin Roth )

2006-02-10

"Play it! The Spice Girls are Awesome!"

-Scott Hamilton

"Quote it!"

-Eli Rieck

"Aw crap...."

-Scott Hamilton

2006-01-23

"My cats are fighting in the sunshine."

-Scott Hamilton

2006-01-10

"Art is only truly art if it never gets done."

-Scott Hamilton

2006-01-04

"There is no racist magnetic poetry."

-Eli Rieck

"You might have a sales opportunity down south."

-Scott Hamilton

2005-12-31

"Did that go down your pants?"

-Scott Hamilton

"Did it go down my pants?"

-Nathan Goff ( looking for a missing marshmallow )

2005-12-26

"I brought something and I want you guys to try it and it's really gross."

-Audrey Strand ( cousin of Eli Rieck )

"Enough said. We'll do it."

-Scott Hamilton ( spokesman for the reluctant )

2005-11-30

"Prepare to die, fool."

-Scott Hamilton

"Oh sweet! I'm gonna die!"

-Tim Armfield

2005-11-19

"That's the most crap I've ever had in my pants."

-Scott Hamilton

2005-11-14

"There is something wrong with this finger hole!"

-Scott Hamilton

2005-11-04

"Todd needs a life."

-Scott Hamilton

2005-10-29

"If you stood in Eli's room you'd be asking [where'd you get that?] all day long."

-Scott Hamilton

2005-07-13

"Hey, it's only 9:15. Who wants to buy a sawzall?"

-Scott Hamilton

2004-12-01

"Random is as random does."

-Scott Hamilton ( refusing to shuffle a deck of cards further )

2004-12-01

"Random is as random does."

-Scott Hamilton ( refusing to shuffle a deck of cards further )