2008-10-24

"I often wanna be a mermaid"

-Evangeline Rand

2008-03-07

"What if you had a chess set, but the pieces are made of midgets?"

-Evangeline Rand

2007-10-24

"You have Indian breath."

-Colby Robinson

"That's the pot callin' the kettle black."

-Danica Boe

"Does that mean I have viking breath?"

-Evangeline Rand

"You have Swedish breath...viking breath could not be good."

-Colby Robinson

2007-10-12

"If I were a guy, I could date you."

-Evangeline Rand ( to Danica )

"[Later...] Would I be your type?"

-Evangeline Rand

2007-08-18

"Please don't kiss me!!!"

-Evangeline Rand ( to Scott as he was holding her face in his hands to get her full attention during a heated game of Settlers )

2007-07-28

"I'd wrap you in saran wrap and put you in Scott's tub."

-Evangeline Rand ( to Danica... I don't know why )

2007-07-13

"So, she's more poo than cocka?"

-Evangeline Rand ( asking Eileen Foreman about her cockapoo named Ginger )

2007-07-06

"Hey look--it's Wallet and Gromice!"

-Evangeline Rand

"You mean Wallace and Gromit??"

-Colby Robinson

2007-07-06

"You are what you eat."

-Evangeline Rand

"Ha, ha. Then you're a lamb!"

-Colby Robinson

"I'm a dead lamb in sauce."

-Evangeline Rand

2007-07-06

"Yum, this mango lassi is good!"

-Evangeline Rand

"I just had mango before we got here."

-Colby Robinson

"Your Mom's a mango."

-Evangeline Rand

2007-07-05

"Did you know that Carol Wilson said I couldn't marry a midget?"

-Evangeline Rand ( on Vangie's spousal choices )

2007-05-20

"I'm faking my zits."

-Evangeline Rand ( looking for sympathy )

2007-05-19

"So if She-Hulk asked you out on a date, you wouldn't go..."

-Evangeline Rand

"...I might have to."

-Chad Rieck

2007-05-19

"Weeping for the sins of our country; That's hot."

-Evangeline Rand

2007-05-08

"Does anyone know if we have everything to make chocolate chip cookies?"

-Colby Robinson

"I don't think we have chocolate chips. We could make Snickerdoodles!"

-Evangeline Rand

"SNICKERDOODLES MY ASS!!!"

-Colby Robinson

2007-05-07

"I'll be your Vegas showgirl."

-Evangeline Rand ( to Danica )

2007-04-22

"The true definition of a weed is something that you don't want."

-Scott Hamilton ( on gardening )

"Or something you smoke."

-Evangeline Rand ( not a gardener )

2007-04-11

"Are these dishes clean or dirty?"

-Evangeline Rand

"Dirty."

-Danica Boe

"Like my mind."

-Evangeline Rand

2007-04-11

"(censored quote)"

-Evangeline Rand

"Man I wish I could quote that, but it's so absolutely, incredibly inappropriate, I can't."

-Danica Boe

2007-03-06

"So there is no way to get a clean one, right?"

-Evangeline Rand ( asking Eli and Scott about babies )

2007-02-25

"Let's all puke on Scott's floor."

-Evangeline Rand

2007-02-04

"Are you okay Eli? Are you having issues in the bathroom?"

-Evangeline Rand

2007-01-25

"My hand's in my armpit."

-Evangeline Rand

2007-01-17

"She is always grabbing him and he hates it."

-Evangeline Rand ( after viewing a picture of her brother and his wife )

"He hates it when his wife grabs him?"

-Jeannie McDougall

"No, just his man boobs."

-Evangeline Rand

2007-01-17

"Ice cream is my porn."

-Evangeline Rand

2007-01-10

"That's right! Where's your masculinity now?"

-Evangeline Rand ( to Eli and Scott after winning Cranium )

2007-01-10

"Get out of our brain!"

-Evangeline Rand

2007-01-02

"How would you draw a mustache on Eli?"

-Evangeline Rand ( regarding conversation about drawing things on people's faces while they are sleeping )

2006-12-17

"Look at my puppies. They're fat. Because I have big ankles."

-Evangeline Rand

2006-09-18

"He's like Jesus. Who knows when he's coming back?"

-Evangeline Rand ( on Mike Rieck )

2006-09-08

"Can I touch your pants?"

-Evangeline Rand

2006-09-06

"I'm feeling an emotion. What is this? Rage?"

-Evangeline Rand ( a little confused about the nature of rage )

2006-07-12

"I kinda like being human."

-Evangeline Rand

2006-04-10

"I wonder if it hurts to lay an egg."

-Evangeline Rand

2006-03-18

"Church is for losers."

-Evangeline Rand

2006-03-16

"Cheddar is better, but fetta is betta!"

-Evangeline Rand

2006-03-16

"Nobody wants to take a picture of my butt...."

-Evangeline Rand

2006-03-16

"I just hit stuff against myself."

-Evangeline Rand ( explaining some bruising )

2006-03-16

"Ooh, you guys should have a cow!"

-Evangeline Rand

"We don't have a cow, but we have a TV!"

-Amanda Elk

2006-03-16

"Bitter like the horseradish to remind us of the tears of your people."

-Evangeline Rand

2006-03-16

"We will call it Vangie land."

-Evangeline Rand

2006-03-16

"Maybe Screwey is a pacifist."

-Evangeline Rand

2006-03-14

"Must I bring some hippies to protest in front of your house?"

-Evangeline Rand

2006-01-26

"I'd like to say I've eaten this entire meal without using utensils."

-Evangeline Rand

2006-01-26

"There's an olive "down there.""

-Evangeline Rand

2006-01-26

"Yay... whee... we're connecting!"

-Evangeline Rand ( after making a social breakthrough with Yuffie )

2006-01-14

"Nathan, you can turn a lot of gay guys straight like that."

-Evangeline Rand

2005-12-17

"Is that playing, or some sort of weird cannibalism?"

-Evangeline Rand ( asking why the cats chew on each other )

2005-09-23

"He encourages it with the way he dresses. He's asking for it."

-Evangeline Rand ( on Eli Rieck's tendency to get stalked by stalkers )

2005-09-23

"Eli takes the garbage out. That's why the chicks dig him."

-Evangeline Rand

2005-09-21

"You gotta have your goodbye time, wink wink, hint hint, you fill in the blank."

-Evangeline Rand

2005-09-05

"I'm like the Fonz... The Vangonz. Oh wait, that doesn't work."

-Evangeline Rand

2005-08-17

"Feel the healing spirit. Oh, I'm so hard up."

-Evangeline Rand

2005-08-15

"I care about sex!"

-Evangeline Rand

2005-08-11

"Keep on rockin' in the free world!"

-Evangeline Rand

2005-08-11

"Are you talking about the guy with the big balls?"

-Evangeline Rand

2005-08-11

"Does Eli shed? It is gross? Does his hair remind you of your sister?"

-Evangeline Rand

2005-07-15

"Gee, your cucumber is kind of soft. I like mine a bit more firm."

-Evangeline Rand

2005-04-17

"Mike, you could open a doughnut shop and call it Mike's Balls of Lard."

-Evangeline Rand

2005-02-18

"Olympia girls know how to rock!"

-Evangeline Rand ( screaming at the band The Myriad )

2005-02-04

"Mike and his big, burly chest."

-Evangeline Rand

2004-11-11

"Hi, I'm crazy pancake man!"

-Evangeline Rand

2004-11-07

"Mexican men are so hot... they would touch my butt and my thighs on the subway, ...it made me feel sexy."

-Evangeline Rand

2004-11-07

"Food is love. If you refuse my bacon, you refuse a little bit of me."

-Evangeline Rand

2004-11-07

"Do I create chaos? Or does it just happen?"

-Evangeline Rand