"Let's be black, black families have more fun."
-Eli Rieck
"Are you looking at pictures of Obama laughing?"
-Danica Boe
"I forget the name of the disease that makes you forget stuff."
-Danica Boe
"Your feet are so small!"
-Danica Boe
"It's the shoes."
-Jeannie McDougall
"You do know I'm potty trained?"
-Danica Boe
"Yay!!! I am so glad the quote page is back!!!!!!!!!1"
-Danica Boe ( because she is happy the quote page is back )
"Yay!!! I am so glad the quote page is back!!!!!!!!!1"
-Danica Boe ( because she is happy the quote page is back )
"I just want to wear my OWN pants!"
-Danica Boe
"Bladder control is for civilization."
-Danica Boe ( who was not close to civilization )
"Did you and the guys get drunk and eat frogs last night?"
-Danica Boe ( commenting on Eli's noisy stomach )
"Why do you have their logo on your butt? Not that I'm looking."
-Danica Boe
"I'm going to go use my external sphyncter to regulate my urine flow."
-Danica Boe ( who really needs to take a break from the books )
"Do you want me to drop methane on you? 'Cause I will."
-Danica Boe
"Are you upset about your hair again?"
-Eli Rieck
"No! I'm upset about Neil Diamond!"
-Danica Boe
"I wish I was perfect."
-Danica Boe
"You will be Danica... after you die."
-Eli Rieck
"What about me Mike?"
-Danica Boe
"Great caboose."
-Mike Rieck
"Thanks!"
-Danica Boe
"I would have never degraded myself like that if I knew I wasn't gonna get something."
-Danica Boe
"My back hurts. Man, that little girl was fat!"
-Danica Boe
"I'm a natural at this game! I'm the next Johnny Fischer!"
-Danica Boe ( during her very first game of chess )
"If I ever die, Eli, you should know; I have ten bucks in an account in Alaska."
-Danica Boe
"It's not that I don't like it, it just doesn't seem cooked to me."
-Danica Boe ( on uncooked cabbage )
"I can't wait till I have kids so I can corrupt them."
-Danica Boe
"I'm really looking forward to the first time I fart in front of you."
-Danica Boe ( to Eli )
"I sniffed butts all the time DON'T QUOTE THAT!"
-Danica Boe ( i had no idea )
"Mmm... murder always gets me in the mood for ice cream."
-Danica Boe
"If it's any consolation, I just spit oyster on myself."
-Danica Boe
"If you hear me puking it's because I am."
-Danica Boe
"Just because I'm acting drunk doesn't mean I AM drunk."
-Danica Boe
"We're both trying to be funny-- next thing you know we're naked!"
-Danica Boe ( to Colby while goofing off )
"I'm watching a movie!! I don't want you to see me un-kept!"
-Danica Boe ( to Colby after Colby messed up her hair )
"I'm so much more manly than you."
-Danica Boe ( to Eli )
"Cut me some slack, Jack."
-Danica Boe
"What's 'slackjack?' Some sort of cheese?"
-Anonymous ( From a 7 year old )
"You have Indian breath."
-Colby Robinson
"That's the pot callin' the kettle black."
-Danica Boe
"Does that mean I have viking breath?"
-Evangeline Rand
"You have Swedish breath...viking breath could not be good."
-Colby Robinson
"I'm an adult, you guys."
-Danica Boe
"Some adults wear diapers."
-Chad Rieck
"You haven't smacked MY butt yet."
-Danica Boe
"Good luck with your search."
-Eli Rieck
"Thanks. I've already given up."
-Danica Boe
"I know how to speak in Hondur."
-Danica Boe ( referring to some characters who were from Honduras on the show "Heroes )
"You mean, Spanish??"
-Colby Robinson
"Guess what I'm thinking."
-Danica Boe
"You're thinking about...PEAS!"
-Colby Robinson
"OH MAN! I was thinking about how I have to PEE!!!"
-Danica Boe
"I would be shocked if you killed me."
-Danica Boe ( a nice sentiment )
"Jayden, that noise sounds like a baby."
-Danica Boe ( while Jayden was throwing a fit )
"I've NEVER been called a baby! Mom says I sound like a two year old! I am MUCH more like a two year old!!!"
-Jayden Dale ( age 7 )
"I'm sorry that I'm kicking you, but it helps."
-Danica Boe
"I'm sorry that I'm kicking you, but it helps."
-Danica Boe
"Aww.. Do you need to be put out of your misery?"
-Danica Boe ( holding her knife sweetly )
"I was buying that! Every last hook sinker..."
-Danica Boe
"That's goat poop."
-Danica Boe
"I'm glad you know your poops."
-Jeannie McDougall
"I've lost 37 pounds."
-Dana Boe
"That's great!"
-Danica Boe
"Not really, it was mostly guts and tumors."
-Dana Boe
"I've seen aunt Danica make inappropriate gestures."
-Scotty Boe
"I never make whatever gestures I make in front of you."
-Danica Boe
"Love is not gross!"
-Eli Rieck
"It is when it's covered in sweat."
-Danica Boe
"Women in labor are so needy."
-Danica Boe
"Vangie, you've created a utilikilt monster."
-Danica Boe ( on vangie influencing her nephew to get a "Utilikilt )
"Eli is Eli"
-Danica Boe
"Yes, and Nathan is Nathan"
-Eli Rieck
"And Chad is Chad!"
-Danica Boe
"Yes, and I don't like smelling feet!"
-Chad Rieck
"Am I supposed to have something on the end of this?"
-Danica Boe ( while holding the empty fishing line on her pole before fishing )
"If my mom was here I know exactly what she'd be saying, "You shouldn't be drinking juice right before bed, it's bad for your teeth."
-Colby Robinson
"But you're an adult, you live on your own. You can be irresponsible."
-Danica Boe
"That's right! I can pay for my own cavities, Dang it!"
-Colby Robinson
"Uh oh. Did I burn my chemistry book?"
-Danica Boe
"Rixie?... Rixie?... Rixie?"
-Muriel Boe
"Who's Rixie, Auntie?"
-Danica Boe
"Isn't that what they call you?"
-Muriel Boe
"Uh, no."
-Danica Boe
"Oh yeah, that's what I call you."
-Muriel Boe
"Vangie, forget school...come to Vegas!!!"
-Jeannie McDougall
"Jeannie, that's the worst advice ever."
-Danica Boe
"That's femininity to me; a huuuge basket on your head."
-Danica Boe
"Jeannie, do you want me to quiz you on your chemistry?"
-Danica Boe
"Yeah, I think I'll stand on my head at the same time---you know, multi-task."
-Jeannie McDougall
"That's a scary voice."
-Colby Robinson
"It's just my burping voice, Colby."
-Danica Boe
"Are these dishes clean or dirty?"
-Evangeline Rand
"Dirty."
-Danica Boe
"Like my mind."
-Evangeline Rand
"(censored quote)"
-Evangeline Rand
"Man I wish I could quote that, but it's so absolutely, incredibly inappropriate, I can't."
-Danica Boe
"Hey Vangie! I'm doing the running man in your room and there's nothing you can do to stop me!"
-Danica Boe
"You guys, my bladder's like the size of a pee."
-Danica Boe ( some spelling liberties taken for contextual effect )
"I'm a firm believer that guys shouldn't know about the things women take out of their faces."
-Danica Boe ( after telling a guy Eli about something she took out of her face )
"Where's your..."
-Eli Rieck
"My wonder bra? I mean, wonder bar."
-Scott Hamilton
"Big difference Scott."
-Danica Boe
"You know what sounds really good right now?"
-Jeannie McDougall
"Poop!"
-Danica Boe
"Is that a monkey?"
-Danica Boe
"No, it's a lamb."
-Josie Sorrell
"Do I look regal? I mean, aside from the spoon on my nose. But everything else, right?"
-Danica Boe
"So I'm pretty much rolling in lamb chops and sweaters."
-Danica Boe
"Oh look. My hand's all red from punching you."
-Danica Boe
"How dare you put an owl in my face and hoot!"
-Danica Boe
"Ah, thanks Vangie. You know I like the bottle."
-Danica Boe ( thanking Vangie for passing her her beer )
"How dare you put an owl in my face and hoot!"
-Danica Boe
"Ah, thanks Vangie. You know I like the bottle."
-Danica Boe ( thanking Vangie for passing her her beer )
"I almost lost my tea."
-Danica Boe ( when she laughed with tea in her mouth )
"You have false teeth?"
-Scott Hamilton
"Look at all those birds with red breasts!"
-Danica Boe ( whilst pointing at said birds outside the house )
"I don't want this face."
-Danica Boe
"What would I do without you Jeannie? I'd be out of shape and my brain would die."
-Danica Boe ( explaining to Jeannie in a round about way how much she loves her )
"Things happen, monkeys fly into my head...."
-Danica Boe ( regarding the monkey that just flew at her head )
"There's nothing like a mouth full of tic tacs you don't want."
-Danica Boe
"I hate it that I'm so wimpy, but it's just a fact."
-Danica Boe
"I think we should all smoke some doobies."
-Danica Boe