"The things you learn when putting away leftovers while brushing your teeth."
-Chad Rieck ( Syrup + Wintergreen = Sassafrass! )
"Stealing children is no way to get your jollies."
-Chad Rieck
"Oooohhh . . . touch me!"
-Chad Rieck
"Don't try to impress girls...you'll end up hurting yourself."
-Chad Rieck
"*I* wipe on my pants."
-Chad Rieck ( giving a lesson in manners )
"I just pray to God that I have to poop in the morning."
-Chad Rieck
"Shut Up! I'm not the Mexican Consulate!"
-Chad Rieck
"If you want some more syrup, there's some on the stove."
-Chad Rieck ( eating Johnny Cake )
"I think I'm fine, (said in a whisper) I'm diabetic."
-Anonymous ( Friend Jenna )
"Dad, can I go to my room?"
-Chad Rieck ( exhibiting an odd sense of morality? possibly for the holidays )
"Eli, when I become a billionaire, I'm gonna hire you to be awesome."
-Chad Rieck
"I'm an adult, you guys."
-Danica Boe
"Some adults wear diapers."
-Chad Rieck
"I didn't have poo in my tub. I had pee mixed with poo essence."
-Chad Rieck
"It's pretty."
-Chad Rieck
"Yeah, they're like cow sprinkles."
-Anonymous ( Chad's friend, looking at finely chopped hamburger )
"Ahh, the simple things in life... that make things more complicated."
-Chad Rieck ( after Eli told him of the cool 'thwopping' sound his new cell phone makes )
"You think I have a tracking system in my underpants?"
-Chad Rieck ( after finding arabic handwriting on the cardboard thing in his underpants package )
"This sock is amazing. I haven't had a sock this soft in a while."
-Chad Rieck
"I'm gonna go away now."
-Scott Hamilton
"How freaking awesome is wearing your underwear on the outside?"
-Nathan Goff
"I prefer not to do it."
-Chad Rieck
"Eli is Eli"
-Danica Boe
"Yes, and Nathan is Nathan"
-Eli Rieck
"And Chad is Chad!"
-Danica Boe
"Yes, and I don't like smelling feet!"
-Chad Rieck
"So if She-Hulk asked you out on a date, you wouldn't go..."
-Evangeline Rand
"...I might have to."
-Chad Rieck
"Scott, I'm sorry about that chicken."
-Chad Rieck ( regarding a drawing involving birth )
"I smell a match."
-Chad Rieck
"Me too...We're all gonna DIE!"
-Allison Borngesser
"Gosh, I love those Christian Lesbians."
-Chad Rieck ( voicing frustrations about Seattle spirituality )
"It's no fair being the youngest. Everyone has more dirt on me than I do on them."
-Chad Rieck
"If it was a bomb shelter, how would lightning burn it?"
-Cody Radle ( Chad's roomie )
"It's not lightning-proof, geez."
-Chad Rieck
"It's like a scratch 'n' sniff that's soft."
-Chad Rieck ( on women )
"You sound like a cow that's getting its kneecaps bitten by another cow."
-Chad Rieck
"It'll be daytime in my pants."
-Chad Rieck
"Eli, don't look stupid."
-Chad Rieck
"So, do they just not know what a mystery snail is?"
-Chad Rieck
"She could be a nanny for bachelors."
-Chad Rieck
"You'd be a great paintball comedian."
-Chad Rieck
"Nice karate chop action."
-Chad Rieck
"Somebody pushed my button."
-Eli Rieck
"I'm an experienced breather."
-Chad Rieck
"Hey Mom, have you ever been massaged with butter knives?"
-Chad Rieck
"I don't think I wanna try it."
-Glenda Rieck