"[My daughter] only found one pile of diarrhea."

-Allen Howard ( On a visit to Seattle )

"I just want to sit there stupidly and be entertained."

-Allen Howard ( Not a fan of movies that make you 'think' )

"Maybe I listen to my wife to much, so that's why I can't hear anything anymore."

-Allen Howard

"They saw a large white guy and figured they could get lots of blood."

-Allen Howard ( Blood donation in Mexico )